This summer I tried every tactic known to man to get my oldest child to go on more epic rides at our local theme park, and I have been paying the price since. It might not be what you think though, let me explain.
So last year, my oldest son decided by his own free will (and a bribery visit to the ice cream shop) to go on the ride “detonator”. Its the tower ride that shoots you straight up in the air and then it bounces you back to the ground. So this year when the theme park opened back up, I thought “great, now we can do even more rides, finally!”. So the first time we got there, I told him we were going to do “Detonator” and then do some other new rides. Well, somewhere between last year and this year, he decided he no longer wanted to do anymore of the intense rides, not even Detonator, which he did a million times last year. By the end of the visit, I was so frustrated that I got in the car and told my two oldest kids “ok, from now on, every time we come here, you have to do a new ‘big’ ride. NO MATTER WHAT.” There. Problem solved.
2 weeks later we had a free afternoon and we decided to go to the amusement park. However, this time my oldest didn’t really want to come, but we were all going so he had to come. I reminded them of my really great parenting move from 2 weeks earlier and we headed to the park. My daughter seemed to get it. I mean, it’s easy, every time we go, you have to ride a new “big” ride. But my son now was having an even harder time. So after a few hours of frustration, I pulled out the big guns. “ok, if you go on a new ride, I’ll take you to QT for ice cream”. Nothing. Finally, after several “motivating” speeches, I got him to go back on the detonator and I thought “good, now he will remember, it is fun and not scary.” Nope. Hated it.
Fast forward a few more weeks and now he won’t go to the amusement park at all, and throws a tantrum about going to the water park, which he never even had an issue with before! So, my wife kindly let me die on my “big ride” hill, and I told the kids, “ok, no more rules about rides at the parks, just do what you want to do to have fun.”
Well now my kids enjoy going to the amusement park much more than before. My son still won’t do the “big rides” like I want, but he is slowly working back into them on his own. And I notice that he enjoys them waaay more and feels proud when he gets his own courage to do the ride, rather than me helping him to “see the light”.
Truthfully, I was him when I was a kid. I never did the big ride, never jumped off the high dive, never tried something that looked scary or remotely dangerous. So why do I push him?? Well, because now I love those things and realize I missed out on so many things. I’ve learned more things in my 30s that I should have known how to do as a 7 year old than I can count. So in my mind I am helping him avoid missing out. However, I am learning I might be totally wrong about this.
I had an interesting thought come to me when I was praying about this the other day. I first had the thought that my life has turned out really great for me and I feel more motivated than ever to not let myself miss out on certain experiences because it’s outside my comfort zone. I might be the way I am now because I did miss out on those things. So am I really helping my son or not?
So now I’m asking myself, would you change some disappointing characteristic or action about yourself from your younger years? Would it really benefit you if that thing changed? All I know is, I am glad that now, at this stage of life, I feel more motivated than ever to try more and different things in my life. So maybe my son is not in such a bad spot after all.